Why argue when you can persuade, I asked you last night. The word sashayed along my tongue, and I am a snake of influence, slither and glide, convince and encourage. Harmless to most, I carry no poison. I delight in commiseration. My condolences are no sin. Even scandal can light the way at times when dark is bright.
Five days nicotine free and this hypnosis cure is crueler than patches. The fire still burns in me, endorphins knowing no rush, and every cell and pore rages at Otis Redding, singing loud and expressive into this waning Wednesday’s self-induced insomnia. The voice repeats in my head and on the audio tape I listen to at night, “Is it good for me?” “Is it worth the price?” Breathe deep, count down from 11 to 7. “I am relaxed.” “I am calm.” “I am in control.” If I was going to reprogam my mind, for the moment that cravings come, I should have asked for orgasm or side splitting laughter instead. Note to myself: Think bigger next time.
